Diary of a lonely Asian woman?

Topic de jour: Solitude.

Am I meant to be alone in this world? I am an only child. Sure I played with the older kids growing up in Philadelphia, none of which I recall, but when I moved to Seattle* it all changed. Seattle was a small, rural town of about 15000, mainly inbreeds. So you can imagine it was hard for me to make friends with the other kids around. Hell, I lived on a highway. The only neighbors I had were either over the age of 60, they lived in their house for 3 months and moved away, they didnt have children, or some odd combination of any of the mentioned. Preschool was a bit difficult for me. I couldn't make friends with the other girls so my best friend was an adopted Korean named Nicholas (can you see what this leads to later on?) Grade school wasn't much better. I went through a phase in second grade and I wrote in my "journal" 'I have no friends. I am never going to have any friends in life.' Of course, the teacher and maybe two people in the class tried to reassure that I am bound to have friends. And the gullible 8 year old that I was believed them. I made one friend. Sunil. And Danielle, who grew up to enter a mental institution because she slashed her ex-boyfriend's tires. In 6th grade I had to transfer to McBain (wahhhh!). I had never heard of the damn town, let alone a wanting to go there. I arrived and everyone...was Dutch. Sure, things got better but I barely talk to three people from that school now, but whatever. Irrelevant. This doesn't help my cause.

Back to loneliness. Fast forward a couple years to college. Picture this: October 2005 (this is very Golden Girls-esque). A young beautiful woman of 20 laying on her roommate's bed while the young, beautiful woman dictates, talking about the degree of her loneliness. The young, beautiful woman recalls the past 3 weekends (and the weekdays in between) of how she got served.

Week 1: Robert. After a night of socializing and intoxicating our bodies with JUNK, Emily and I converse online while Robert is passed out after being stripped. After being told that a certain GIRL named Sharon* is probably boning a Dutch Buddhist*, I tell her that I need some bone. After that, Emily (and her bearclaw grip).....right.


Week 2: The wedding. Contrary to popular belief, this is not Emily's and my wedding, but her brother's...the older one. After another night of intoxicating our bodies with more JUNK (and jager) and after being on the floor for a good 4 minutes, I find myself participating in MJ-like activities with a certain brother (don't worry, not the one that got married...I'm not that much of a homewrecker). A few hours later, I wake up. ALONE. And all I see is his watch, the sun rising, and an underpowered smoke detector trying to act as an alarm clock. Oh, you Ulrichs. Right-o.

Week 3: My best friend Mary's 21st birthday. I put thoughts of acting on my promiscuity aside and I decide to trek down to 111th and Kedzie for Chicago's sOUthside Irish bar/foosball/darts place and I ROCKED. I rocked hard. So hard that I end up being better friends with one of the friends there. When we got home, the friend, Mary's sister (that's not her in the picture, by the way), and I sleep on the hideaway. I wake up at 9 AM. The sister? On the ground. The "friend"? MIA. I don't really know where I am. I look around and nobody's around. Alas, I got served...THRICE.

Regarding the weekdays in between the three weekends, that was only Emma Lee* and me falling asleep on my bed only to wake up alone the next morning. Ooshka.

So back to loneliness. This is where YOU, the reader (hopefully you're a good looking reader too) comes in. You must do all you can to rid me of my loneliness whether it be a hot family member or a hot friend (male or female). Hell, I'll even settle for mediocrity at this point...have pity on the young, beautiful Asian. ROCK.


*names have been changed to protect the guilty and ashamed and EVIL.