Emily this, Emily that, Emily OUT THE WINDOW!

Actually this is about deficiencies.

This week I've learned that people can be very intelligent yet have no common sense (i.e. me) or be very intelligent and lack certain basic skills (i.e. me) such as keeping your food in your mouth and eating like a human being. We'll begin with the latter.

Victim #1: The futon.

A certain person-let's call her Emma Lee-is quite an intelligent person. She gets good grades and is VERY studious...at least, that's what people think. Yet, there are some things that she just cannot do. In Emily's case, she cannot keep food in her mouth and eat like the rest of society. A simple task such as eating crackers, chips and salsa, and other foods that common people eat can turn into a disaster for Emma Lee. (Please click on the picture to experience the EXTREME extent of Emma Lee's wrongdoing!)

What would your area look like if YOU ate pizza? I bet your area would be neat and not this scene of debauchery. Imagine this dialogue: "Emma Lee! I just vacuumed!" -Me "Oopsies!" -Emma Lee
::Groan groan groan:: This picture is not do justice as an accurate depiction of Emily's full potential. This futon has also served as the ground on which to grow such grains and legumes as mentioned before as well as the means to many itchy naps.

Victim #2: My bed.
Though it may be motherly and a bit too precocious for the likes of someone like me, it did not deserve such oppression. Exhibit B:
The stupid whore didn't even try to do that. This is what happens every time she consumes food. Good JORB, Emma Lee. Good jorb. At least I get to practice my domestic skills.

Enough about Emma Lee and her deficiencies. Let's talk about mine. You may ask yourself, "How can someone as perfect as MJ have any deficiencies whatsoever? Well, as perfect as I seem, unfortunately I have a problem. I don't know how to drink coffee properly. Every day I go to class and try to make a good impression of myself as a serious student dependent on coffee. I seem to succeed except for the coffee stains on my shirt, jacket, purse, and books and notebooks. Yesterday was no exception. Coming back from one of my exams I decided to grab a cup of coffee. Somehow the coffee leaked out from the lid, burning my fingers, arms, and staining my sleeves. By the time I got home, the coffee had spread onto the books inside my bag, Emily's waterproof vest, and my shirt. Victim #3: Me.
This soldier of a shirt got away lucky. Many of my other shirts have been permanently scarred, sort of like Robert's pants. Oopsies.

So in conclusion, our apartment is full of oopsies. But not for long...eeeee. Emily....out the door! SEE YA!