Take that, life!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Reunited and it feels so good...and by good I mean we almost killed ourselves.


So...I just got back from Minneapolis. To keep the memories alive I shall blog so I don't forget because I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!!

Apparently I didn't remember to keep my promise to myself to only do some light-moderate rocking. It turned out that Thursday nights are dollar beers at Blue Iguana. So Brittany, Sarah, and I trudged over there and I saw friends of both exes...great. Five pounds later I realized that I still had to fly to Minneapolis to rock even HARDER so I packed my bags half-drunk and completely forgot the time, location, and airline of
my flight.

"Which airline are you flying?"-Friend
"American." -Me half-asleep. Rememeber. I didn't sleep that night!

American Airlines did not agree with my answer. After realizing my itinerary wouldn't show up on the AA screen I realized that I was flying Northwest because I ordered my ticket from there even though I couldn't use my frequent flyer miles. So I took the tram from Terminal 5 to Terminal 2. Wrong again.

Let's recap: I screw up my plans for a nice, peaceful Thursday night, I didn't clean my apartment as planned, I don't even remember the dang airline, and so far the only thing I've do
ne right is that I showed up four hours early for my flight. I couldn't even handle being four minutes early at birth.


United Airlines was my last resort. So I took another tram from Terminal 2 to Terminal 1. Success! Finally I arrived! I managed to remember my airline company. What's next, finding a cure for cancer? After Robert picked me up we went back to his place where he, Emily, and I engaged in an extreme nap party. Fiv
e hours later it was time to ROCK. And I mean HARD. So hard we needed a kitchen table of SIN. Exhibit A. Ignore the girl on the right. She really sucked. But to the rest of Minneapolis, watch out. Actually...change that to Robert, watch out. It's been too too long since I've spiked your drinks, fiance. After some Red Bull-less shots of jager, an unsuccessful batch of beer-ma-kade, and more junk we headed off to drink, where some no-name celebrity wanted Emily and me to go up to the VIP room. Oooh....hoity toity. Anyone will want you if you only stick cherries down each other's shirts with your teeth then take pictures of each other with that same, God-knows-where-it-has-been cherry while groping each other. Child's play.





But...we didn't do that. We used ic
e.







Moving on to the Lodge...it was quite a warming place where the house band played a set of U2 songs. Fiance was delighted. Fiance was not so delighted to find his shirt we after
laying on the table. Why is this so funny? Who knows? Then the whole night turned into debautchery. Kim and I went on a search for the missing Swedish Gopher and ended up on stage dancing. Robert hit his head numerous times on the deer/elk antler lamp trying to get down until the bouncer literally told him to get down, Hayley was heavily scolded (not by me for a change!) to NOT make constipated-looking faces, and Emma Lee documented it all. When we decided we schooled doontoon Minneapolis enough in ROCKING we hightailed it for a mac' and cheese party at Kim and Hayley's...leading to the longest five-minute walk ever back to Emma's in negative four-degree weather. Good night.

...And good afternoon! I woke up in pain, not from a hangover, but with a sharp pain on my tailbone from being DROPPED the night before. But anyway...what trip to the twin cities is complete without restaurant hopping at Chipotle and Potbelly and a trip to the MOAwesome? For those of you who do not understand this MOAwesomeness I am
referring to the Mall of America. It...was interesting. Emily received a record-tying 14th replacement of her fourth-generation iPod, we visited the COOL SHOP, I clocked a kid in the back of the head with my bag and instinctively insincerely apologized as if it were his fault, and we played dress-up at American Eagle and some Irish store. I came out as the white-trash prostitute with galoshes and the 67-year old Irish bingo player who just happened to be perfect. It was then when Robert, aka Legs, almost stepped on a child. Her mother scolded her daughter quite audibly,
"Watch out! Didn't you see those legs?" Robert quickly responded to our laugher,
"Had that been you two she would've said, 'Watch out! Didn't you see the tops of their heads?'"

Robert- 1, Asians- 4 (spiking of the drinks inclusive.)

Another three hours later....it was time to ROCK again. This time, since Emily "didn't really get drunk last night," she decided to be vigilant and filled a Nalgene bottle with JUNK. Just junk. Robert drove to St. Paul to meet up with royalty from their high school, ie. the school president, his father, and the more apporachable cross-country coach, Coz. And I made an ass of myself in front of them. I'm not sure how but I guess 'Boyto tried to bail me out with talk of our wedding date. It's still June 14!

Then it was time to put on my homewrecker mask. We rocked with Bro-ho. Since 'Boyto drove as mentioned before, Emma and I took it into our hands to get 'Boyto and Bro-ho suffiently...ready for the cold weather. Right-O! First off, we went to Legends and Nick and I played a masterful game of darts. And by masterful I mean I almost took someone's eye out while almost losing my shirt. As tool-ish as this sounds I honestly don't remember the rest of the night but apparently Robert was yet again a victim of some hard core NaCl and rejection. After giving the the touch screen game some flak he was mercilessly escorted outside of the bar. Emily won in a game of Asian frogger...or dodgecar. Emily also got denied money from McDonald's, we got kicked out, and Robert did a little rejecting himself but we won't go in to that one.

Sunday....meh meh meh. We were piles again, we watched the
Super Bowl in the Library and almost fell asleep but fell in love with the Budweiser commercial with the small horse pulling a wagon with two big horses pushing behind. We also met Ludacris. Well, not really. Just some guy who took his luda-self too seriously. They smoked weed in the living room and we were confined to the Emma's room. Great! Oddly enough it was Emily and me who had the late-night munchies. I don't think documenting my trip back to Chicago is exciting enough....since I missed my flight so I, of course, turned to the bar to pass the time. Really. It's not important.

Overall it was a super-rockin' weekend, yet one thing kind of bothered me: Though Emily was the same person, there was something about her that was a bit different...oh, I know. It's because when I asked who she listens to now she says, "Oh you know.....Three 6 Mafia, a little Kanye, the Ying Yang Twins... Lil' Jon, Whaaaaat!!" What happened to Ben Folds? Is he not crunk enough for you now? Oh well, I lurve you anyway! Annnd this is the longest post ever. Minneapolis = MinneROCKolis! Good Night. :)