Psh...Who needs ESPN?

I do! Without it I wouldn't be able to regurgitate everything I watch in order to create this post. I know I won't be able to write columns for ESPN even though I truly enjoy watching sports, appreciate listening to sports writers' opinions, I love watching trivia shows such as "Stump the Schwab." I thought I'd give my opinion on a few things around the world of sports instead of focusing on one team. Since these are MY thoughts, there won't be anything deep here.

Now if I were to focus on one team it would be my favorite Atlatna Braves, who are currently in last place in the NL East. Their win Sunday Night over Tampa Bay actually lifted them to last from dead place. Yes, Luke Wilson was right: dead place does exist. As a Braves fan I'd like to bring up that it was approximately around this time that the Braves of fourteen years ago brought in Bobby Cox when the Braves were in a similar situation. Their season turned around and they won a zillion of their remaining regular-season games and thus began the beginning of their NL East division champions dynasty. For my sake we won't talk about the post-season unless it's 1994. At this point, Bobby Cox should call me up from Double A. I have a killer golf swing.

...and they lost to the Yankees in the 12th inning tonight with A-Rod's home run. So I guess they're back in dead place.

On a brighter note I'm actually starting to watch the World Cup on my own. It seems as if gatherings to watch soccer is much more lightheartedand jolly than watching American football. World peace is temporaily in effect....or not. I guess this is the influence three South African friends can put on you. As an American I find it shameful that we, the most powerful and most influential country, are not as gung-ho about soccer- excuse me, football, as the other 99% of the world. Is it becuase American soccer is as formidable as say, American Baseball? (That was in reference to the U.S. not winning the inaugural World Baseball Classic as expected, you sports imbeciles.) Speaking of imbeciles, if Bruce Arena weren't such a dolt of a soccer coach, maybe the Americans could have advanced out of their group instead of Italy and Ghana. It could have been us whom Brazil slaughtered on Tuesday. Instead we lost badly to Ghana, overcelebrated mediocrity but tying Italy while the Italians were beating themselves upside their heads, and let the Czechs remind the U.S. where they stand in international soccer.

While we're on the topic of shameful and awful, how about the Miami Heat winning the NBA Title? Since I'm not writing for ESPN (yet,) I'm allowed to be biased. So much had been going around on who was to blame/credit for Miami's win. Could it possibly have been Miami's inner strength and realization that they were on the verge of losing the first three games? Could it have been Pat Riley's experience and leadership? Was it even Chicagoan Dywane Wade's Jordan-esque performance? Some blame the Dallas Mavericks and how they were too busy complaining about how David Stern and the rest of the NBA is constantly conspiring against the Mavs- and how Mark Cuban was able to convince the whole city of the aforementioned. Is it even possible that Dallas cannot even play defense and had a series meltdown? I prefer to go another route. I do not blame Dallas' meltdown but I blame my beloved Detroit Pistons. Yes, you heard it, I blame Detroit. Had it not been for Detroit's massive choking being the number one seeded team in the postseason, we wouldn't have this discussion and I would still be out celebrating to this day. Our Fort Knox-like defense had been broken into and their shots just would not go in. Maybe it was fatigue from the seven-game series with Cleveland beforehand. Nah. We simply choked.

Well, that is all I feel like talking about in the world of sports. I would have talked about the U.S. Open in golf which took place about ten days ago, the Duke Lacrosse team scandal, and tonight's NBA draft and how the New York Knicks wasted a completely good opportunity to improve as if they could get any worse. I mean, out of all the talented players on tap, they chose Renaldo Balkman out of South Carolina first?! I should not be angry about this. I know everything there is to know about stports, I can name every player from every team in every major sport, and I should go to Medill J-school, work for ESPN, and move to Bristol, Connecticut. There's nothing more to say.

...for now.